It's been awhile, not because I've stopped contemplating about life but just didn't have much to say. Honestly, if I were to read through the previous posts, they're all about the same shit. No matter what I do or what phase of life I'm at, it's always at the back of my mind, nagging at me. Trust me, I've tried to occupy myself hoping that it would just go away... but nope. It's like an itch - temporarily goes away when you scratch it but comes back a lot itchier. And so we're back on my most dreaded thought: relationships.

I'd like to think that I've made peace with the fact that I'm single and probably will be forever. Presently, I'm not too fussed about finding someone because there's legit no potential ones in my life. NONE. NON-EXISTENT. I believe I'm at this prime age where my peers who've been in relationships for years are getting engaged or almost getting engaged, and then there's me... It's definitely difficult to not feel left out. lol Especially in this age, people practically showcase their 'entire' life on social media. My entire Instagram and Facebook feed is filled with couple photos. Not in the least bit exaggerating. There are times when I think I'm at a really good place in my life and then I go onto one of these social media sites and see all these happy couples, then I feel semi-depressed that I'm all alone. As much as I do not wish to feel this way, I can't help myself. It's obviously not that hard to find someone but for some reason it is for me, which is why I'm beginning to think that maybe I am the problem. Maybe it's the way I carry myself or my personality? I do admit that I find it difficult to overlook the flaws of others, which is probably the cause of it all. I'm working on it.

On the bright side, the older I am, the less fucks I give. I'm so over playing mind games with people, that's just fucked up. That whole 'play hard to get' thing is not at all attractive, it's immature and just ridiculous. Also, I'm all for girls to make the first move. This is the 21st century, don't sit around and wait for the guy you like to approach you. If you like someone, do something to let them know. If you meet a guy you like, be brave enough to ask for his number, strike a conversation. I think guys appreciate a pro-active girl, at least it takes the pressure of them. Life ain't no disney movie, no prince charming is going to magically appear at your doorstep.