DAY 1 - Earliest Memory

It's hard to say what my earliest memory is, as everything before the age of 7 is kinda fuzzy. All I can recall are fragments of events which aren't exactly cohesive. I do have a rather vivid memory from when I was a child (5 or 6) that has always stuck with me.

It was a typical evening on the weekend when my cousins would all gather at mines to play as we didn't really have anything better to do at that age. My dad had brought us and the dog for a walk around the neighbourhood, and kids being kids, we were playing catch and were all sticky and sweaty. I grew up in Singapore so you can imagine the level of humidity. As we were all sweaty and hot, my dad, brother and male cousins started to remove their tops, and I decided to do the same. At this point, my dad saw what I was about to do and immediately stopped me. He said, "You can't take off your t-shirt!" I remember being slightly confused about this double standard as everyone else seemed to be doing so. I asked him why my brother and cousins could, but not me. He simply replied, "Because you're a girl. Girls can't take their tops off in public." Being a 5/6-year-old, I was still perplexed by that response as it did not really answer my question. I didn't understand how my gender or sex rather, made me any different. Being a curious child, I wasn't satisfied with the weak response, so I asked again. "Why? Why can't I take my top off like everyone else?", this time slightly more annoyed, as all I wanted to do was to cool down. My dad gave me the same response and was very firm this time. From that point on, I just accepted what I was told and never questioned again. Of course, as I grew older I learnt that girls needed to be modest and blah blah blah.

Up till today, this has just stuck with me and will always be a vivid childhood memory of mine. I think that was the first time that I realised the difference in standards between men and women. It's interesting how there are completely different standards for men and women. Both can do the same thing and yet get judged differently. It was something I had to learn and accept along the way. Needless to say, there were plenty more of such gender-related things that I had to follow in order to be lady-like but that I'll leave for a different post. But yeah, my earliest memory was just the beginning of the countless lessons on how to behave like a woman.