Can someone please tell me what the fuck is wrong with me?! I'm fucking miserable. I'm probably the cause and reason for it all. Don't know what I did to myself really... Why am I in such a state? Clueless. In a few hours time, I'll be turning 20. But I don't feel even the least bit excited. In contrary, I feel fucking depressed. Post drama depression, is just a small fraction of it all. Still figuring out the root. Ever since I graduated, it's been downhill all the way. Can't remember the last time where I genuinely felt happy. When asked why the long face, I let silence do it's job; cause I honestly do not have a legit answer to such a question. They can assume all they want. I'm sick of everything. I've cried dry my tears, absolutely numb to my current state of emotion. A smile on my face, but a heavy heart lies within.
I want to disappear from everything - from life. Let me fade away subtly into a place where my self can find solace.
I'm tired. Just so tired.
Why!!! Mel, please cheer up:( this is not the Mel I know!!!! Don't worry, I'm sure things will change for the better. I can somehow relate to how you feel- I guess it's the sense of helplessness and despondency!! Hah, I get that sometimes too:-/ I have no idea what I wanna do with my life.. For me, life isn't that awesome at the moment.. I'm just following societal expectations- going to school, getting a degree, trying my best to make like-minded friends. It's tiring sometimes (esp when I'm so unmotivated but the situation I'm in is a bloody rat race).. but I have been telling myself to stay positive these days..cos.. as cliche as it might sound, YOLO :) &of course, whenever i think about my current doga predicament.. i cant help but worry too. most importantly, im sure this is just a passing phase in your life!!! Cheer up Mel , anything just whatsapp me, I'll be there :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Vanz! You're the best la! But I'm feeling okay alr! (:
DeleteYeah Mel!:) Though it's abit late, but CHEER UP ok. I hope you're feeling slightly better, if not happier, Honestly i dunno if its mid-life crisis but I feel the same way as you and van, just drifting around life. And sometimes when I laugh or smile, its only temporal, and I feel depressed at times. I dun exactly see the meaning of this life I'm living, but just keep trusting that God has a plan ok!:) Van, I, your bro, and all ur friends are always here for you. After finals let's all go cycling and do the fun stuff again:) don't feel sad ok!:) if in doubt, just watch some kpop or nigahiga or venu mellash (van's current obsession) :) BE HAPPY MEL!!!:))
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