Brain dead. I finally am able to understand the meaning of it. Ever since getting discharged from the hospital, I've done nothing but bum around at home. By bumming, I mean sit at home and do absolute NOTHING. Exercise for me would be walking from my room/living room to the kitchen. I can't help but feel so slothful. No doubt it's a huge improvement from when I was warded. That... WOW. How do I even begin? Simply putting, never have I stayed in bed for almost 24hrs. Not saying I hated the experience. Come on, breakfast in bed - everyone's dream, and practically everything is done for you. Need not lift a finger. I have had enough of such things, I can't even, I WON'T take it anymore. I regret if ever in the past I've said I wished I had nothing to do. Truly regret. Boredom is eating me up day by day. It's tormenting. Furthermore, aware of the 6 months that lie ahead of me is brutal! I cannot begin to express my utter despondency upon knowing that NZ has to be delayed. The only thing that's kept me motivated is the impending Korea trip next month. After that it's back to reality, where I have to find a full-time/contract job and my friends move onto their next phase of life - university. I'm not the least prepared to go into the working world and do a typical 9-5 office job. I swore to never work an office job, but yet my instinct tells me that's my future. Maybe a few years down the road, I will bear no choice but to submissively comply to such. But now is too soon. TOO SOON. The thought just irks me. Why must we grow up? Everything's much simpler as a kid. Time is just passing way too fast. Just when one's about to savour the moment, it's time to move on to the next milestone. If it permits, I want to take a step back and wholeheartedly appreciate all that has been missed. YOLO. Do what makes you happy.
So When life gives you lemons, don't use them to make lemonade. Throw the damn lemons back at life. Who's to say what we can or can't do?